• ScarsIdon'tshow

    Let me tell you the story of my scars. You see, I’ve fallen a lot in life. Gathered some interesting scars along the way. You can see them, still, on my knees.

    There was that time I was in Auroville, India in a Truth and Reconciliation circle with black and white South Africans a strong wind blew, a huge board fell down, hit my nose and took the skin off my knee. I already had tears in my eyes, they just filled more.

    The time I was hiking with some monk friends in the mountains, so entranced by the land I slipped and hit a rock with my knee and cheekbone. And bounced. Back up to standing.

    Last year, I was really sick and stressed, rushing to work despite a 101 degree fever, I dropped my son off at daycare, stepped out and fell off the bottom step, gashing my knee on gravel. I got up, tried unsuccessfully to hide my torn jeans, and wipe off the blood and went into work to do my job.

    You can see these scars, still, here on my knees.

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    Why do I share these scars with you?

    I’ve fallen a lot.
    And in the yoga and healing community we sometimes like to pretend it’s all ease and grace. But I want to be real with you.

    And real growth takes real falling down. And we bear the scars to prove it.

    For all the blogs you’ve seen published, there are probably as many rejected.
    For all the events that are full, sold -out, at capacity there were many with a handful. Who I treated with as much care and love as if they were 10X the number. And there were even the workshops with zero. There were the feelings of unworthiness. Of not-enoughness.

    And I keep trying. Failing. Falling. I get back up. Try again. Succeeding. You may not see these scars. They are there underneath providing strength and a solid foundation for growth.

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    Lately, things have been going abundantly for me. It’s fun and wonderful. I want to also demystify this.
    It’s not that I’m special or different or blessed. Well, I am those things and so are you.

    Mostly, I am persistent.
    In the face of rejection I keep trying. I try my best not to do it in a pushy way but a clear way. One in alignment with integrity.

    Action sharpened by tapas, the yogic fire of self-discipline. I have things to say and I know there are people who need to hear or read them.

    I know I am worthy of the teachings and of the message. I know I am enough. I know this because I’ve been to the other side. And likely will be again.

    So even if now isn’t the right moment. The moment will come. And I know that these words will be for sometime and someone.

    And these scars are beautiful. Worthy of adornment, bearing gifts. 

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    So if there’s something something you really want to do. . .
    * Keep failing.
    * Keep trying and getting back up and trying again.
    * Let’s celebrate the scars, signs of growth and change.

    And I’d love to hear your scar stories. . . it’s by sharing our shadows that we allow the light of growth in.

    Sending you grit, tenacity and determination,

    Susanna

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    I run Yoga Teacher Trainings and work with individuals 1 on 1 in person + online-learning custom coaching programs to support you in experiencing more harmony, peace and balance in your life with yoga, Ayurveda, mindfulness and other healing tools. I look forward to talking with you.

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